Albus Dumbledore

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

DASH

A young man named Steven was talking in church today about playing on the US Junior Mens Team Handball Team. Team Handball is like playing soccer only with a small handball. Steven was a goalie and during an important international game [the equivalent of a World Cup game] he got a little cocky and made a rookie mistake - he took his eye off the dash.

Steven explained that as goalie you are the only person allowed in the goal area [marked in yellow above] and because your back is to the goal you need to keep your eye on the dash. In front of the goal line is a small 1 meter long mark or dash used as a penalty throw line. The goalie uses this dash as his reference point as it marks the center of his goal behind him and it lets him know where he is in relationship to the goal at all times. He can't be constantly turning around and looking for the goal he has to know where it is based on his reference point - the dash.

Back to our story, Steven bated an opposing player to take a shot, but because he had taken his eye off the dash he didn't realize he was out of position which allowed the opposition to score on him. That 1 meter mark, so small in comparison to the other court markings made the difference.

You have a dash. Each of you is defending a goal and handballs are flying at you left and right. Life is a full contact sport and taking your eye off your dash, even for a moment, can make the difference between mounting a successful defense of your goal or being taken out by the opposition.

An Affair to Remember

by Health Coach Pat

February - the month of LOVE - Valentines Day = hearts, flowers, kisses, chocolates, fancy dinners. Who do you love? WHAT do you love?

My post today is about our love affair with food and how to nurture ourselves in ways other than through our mouths. For centuries, the message for women to show their affection to those they love has been through FEEDING them, and many have internalized this idea and applied it to nurturing themselves as well. For men, eating the food and goodies showed that they care in return.

After all, food, means love in most cultures, and in America we have taken this idea to new heights. Hasn’t it felt true that a hot-fudge sundae won’t lie to you, reject you, is easily accessible and affordable? Yes and no. Remember, when it comes to food, feelings come and go. It is easy to be entangled in a love affair with food. The problem with affairs is that they hurt those involved, are short-lived, almost always blow up in your face, and produce shame. The affair with food is no exception.

The affair with food begins with the courting phase. You remember it… when the chocolate melts in your mouth and provides a temporary moment of exhilaration. Never mind the fact that when sugar is ingested it raises serotonin levels in the brain creating similar chemical effects of, you guessed it, being in love. It isn’t long before the remorse and guilt, the “I shouldn’t have’s” kick in and you realize you’re hurting someone again. In the torrid affair with food, the one we most deeply injure is ourselves. As it is with a harmful love affair, the positive attention food initially provided becomes more sporadic. It literally adds excess baggage and over time the nurturing feelings are more difficult to achieve. Finally, the self-loathing becomes so great the participant gets honest and knows it has to end.

So how do we transform this love affair with food into a healthier long-term balanced nurturing relationship? It begins with learning to nurture ourselves in ways other than food. It begins with re-framing our thinking of what it means to eat healthfully. Tell yourself that choosing substances to put in your body that add to your health, rather than detract from it is not a punishment. It is in fact one of the most practical declarations of self-love we can make. This means taking the time to cook yourself healthy meals, stopping at restaurants you know have choices that will work for your body long term rather than provide a quick fix.

Notice what feeling is underlying your desire to eat a particular food and seek out a life-affirming way to get this need met. Many turn to food first when really wanting physical nurturing. Treat yourself to a massage, hug your spouse, buy yourself a teddy bear and hug it, pet your dog, If you’re stressed at work, instead of going to the vending machine to “give yourself a break,” take a walk, call a friend and vent your feelings, go to the bathroom and get quiet for a few moments. If you eat to quell loneliness or sadness, invite a friend over for a healthy meal, go to a movie, or curl up on your couch with your favorite blanket and a good book. Light a candle and listen to your favorite music, and by all means cry if you feel the urge. (OK guys - you don't have to cry!)

Although you may initially grieve giving up the highs and lows of the rush of your familiarly intense but chaotic relationship with food, over time you will begin to appreciate and even prefer the consistency of a nurturing, balanced relationship with food and with yourself.

If you are overweight, chances are that you indulge in some form of comfort eating. Figure out why you comfort eat and you will be well on the way to a D-i-v-o-r-c-e from your thoroughly unsuitable love.

You'll be much happier once it's all over.